Dark Spirit
by StanaTorv
Summary: Kate found herself in a deep dark chasm after the death of her mother. Rick Castle is about to lose his daughter to the system. How can they climb back into the light? WARNINGS: Alcoholism, underage drinking and drugs. Total AU.
1. Chapter 1

**This is story is AU and is set two years after the death of Johanna Beckett. It may seem a little weird, but please stick with it. It is sad and deals with some pretty heavy and sensitive issues but I think it's worth writing about it. **

**Warnings: Underage drinking, alcoholism, drugs and other things that I haven't written yet. **

**Disclaimer: I'm changing canon; these characters definitely don't belong to me**

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><p><strong>Dark Spirit<strong>

_Chapter One_

The musty odour of stale beer permeated the air and there was the crunch of peanut shells underfoot; neon lights flickered overhead. Kate Beckett swirled the amber liquid around the bottom of the glass, intermixed with the ever-melting cubes of ice. Sitting at the bar was a nightly routine for her and whisky was her poison of choice. She wasn't too fussy on what brand it was, just as long as it could be downed in one mouthful. If only her mother could see her now, she would always think to herself. Barely twenty-one and drinking her life into oblivion; one-night-stand after one-night-stand. Kate tipped back her head and swallowed the last of her drink, slamming the glass back on the bench. She looked up at the bar tender and lifted her finger to order another drink. He walked over to her, but not before grabbing the bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Last one before I cut you off," he told Kate firmly and then pouring the dark spirit into her glass. Kate only rolled her eyes at him before staring at her tumbler briefly, willing it to remain full. She picked up the whisky chugged it down, threw down some notes and slid off the stool she had been sitting in for the last four hours. Kate grabbed her jacket off the bench next to her and stumbled towards the exit. Walking down the dark alley, Kate made her way to the next bar, the cool autumn air sobering her up a little.

"Jack Daniels on the rocks, two fingers," she ordered from the bar tender before dropping herself down on a stool at the opposite end of the bar from the only other person in there. When she was handed her drink, instead of sculling it, she decided to nurse it in her hands. Kate poked at the ice that bobbed in the glass and swirled the liquid around with her finger. She took a sideways glance at the man down from her; he was handsome and looked as good as she felt. Picking up her glass, she moved next to him.

"This seat taken?" she asked him.

The man looked up, his piercing blue eyes were empty and hollow; "It is now."

"Thanks." Kate sat down and took a swig from her drink. "I'm Kate."

"Rick." He too took a mouthful of his own poison before turning his head to face her. "And what brings you out here on a lonely Wednesday night, Kate?"

She continued to swirl her drink around, "Life," she took another sip, "and death. You?"

"To numb the pain. It seemed like a good idea at the time, until I realised it still hurt."

Kate nodded, "I'll drink to that." She finished what was in her glass and motioned to the bar tender for two more drinks. The pair picked up their now full glasses and tapped them together, "To numbing the pain."

"Cheers." Rick's phone went off as he finished what was in his glass, flipping it open he swore. He stood up hastily and grabbed his coat, "I'm sorry, Kate, I have to go. Thanks for the company tonight." He pulled out a card from his top pocket and handed it to Kate, "If you're ever lonely on a Wednesday, give me a call."

Kate pocketed the card and watched him leave, tripping slightly over his own feet, evidence of his own insobriety. She let out a heavy sigh before making her own way out of the bar. Hailing a cab, she hopped in and gave her address; she didn't want to go home to her cold, empty apartment, but at least there she could continue drinking and then crash into her own bed, instead of someone else's. She was growing tired, but her downward spiral out of control had yet to hit rock bottom. She ran her fingers through her long, wavy tendrils and looked out at the city as it passed her by. _Rock bottom._ She wondered what the signs would be when she finally got there. She thought about where she was now, and how she got to that point.

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><p><em>Kate stood stoically as she watched them lower her mother's coffin into the ground and cover it with a mixture of dirt, snow and flowers that mourners placed on top of it. She wouldn't let the tears that were welling fall down her cheeks. Her father stood rigid beside her, eyes focused on the coffin in front of him. The father and daughter pair surrounded by friends who imparted their embraces and condolences before filing out of the cemetery, leaving Kate and Jim alone with their thoughts. <em>

_That night Kate lay awake in her bed, reliving the moment when her life fell apart; her unshed tears from the funeral now cascaded down her face. Not hearing any sounds coming from her father's bedroom, she grabbed her coat and shoes and made her way downstairs to where the alcohol cupboard stood. Unlocking it quietly, she pulled out her father's aging whisky before heading out into the night; her footsteps illuminated by the street lamps above her. _

_Kate made her way to Central Park; she knew it wasn't the safest part of town at night, but she didn't care. Sitting down on the nearest bench, Kate cracked open the bottle and put the rim to her lips. Tilting her head back, she took a couple gulps of the amber liquid, feeling the burn as it flowed down her throat. It was the strangest sensation and her gag reflex kicked in. As quickly as the alcohol went down, it came straight back up again. Placing the bottle on the ground at her feet, she heaved and vomited the contents of her stomach in front of her, the emotional turmoil of the day rolling around inside of her. _

_Wiping her mouth with her jacket sleeve, Kate picked up the bottle again and took another swig to rid her mouth of the rancid taste that was left there. This time the burn remained the same but the liquor stayed down. And so she continued until the bottle was empty. Kate let out a deep breath before pulling herself up off the bench and stumble her way back home. When she got there Kate dived head first into her bed, hoping that her drunken stupor was enough to make her pass out; enough to make her forget the horror. And it did. For that one night. But that wasn't enough; Kate needed to forget forever. _

_That one night turned into two and the second turned into the next two blurry years. Each day melded into the next and Kate just lived each day by the motions._

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><p>The cab pulled up at her block, so she paid the driver and got out and trudged to the front door. It was an older apartment block, so there was no elevator; this meant that she had to drag her sorry drunk ass up four flights of stairs before she could get to her door. She figured it was the universe's way of punishing her for screwing up her life. Kate yanked open her front door and made her way to the cramped kitchen. Opening one of the top cupboards she pulled out a glass before turning to the bench that held all her whisky bottles; grabbing one she moved down the hallway to her bedroom. Kate placed her drink on the table beside her bed before peeling the clothes off her body and making her way into the bathroom. Stepping into the shower, she let the water cascade down her body and the heat warm her; the shower was more comfort to her than any man she had ever had.<p>

Twenty minutes later, Kate walked back into her bedroom, snatched a pair of sweats from the floor and too-big T-shirt and put them on. Sliding into bed, she poured herself a handsome glass of whisky. Having a shower would always sober her up some so she needed that extra glass before she could turn in for the night. Kate opened her drawer and pulled out a packet of pills. She popped one in her mouth and downed it with the whisky. Kate slumped face first into her pillow, willing herself to go to sleep without the nightmares.

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><p><strong>So that was chapter one. Let me know what you thought and if you want to see this continued. I have a plan of where I want it to go and it will get a lot more dramatic and angsty before it gets better. But just so you know that it will get better and there will be a happy ending. <strong>

**Sam **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who read and/or reviewed the opening chapter. And thank you for the wonderful response to it. I'm glad you all like it. Remember this is AU so some things may be out of character in the context that you're used to, but in this context, the stuff that happens is very likely to happen.**

**Sorry it has taken so long to get this latest chapter to you; uni is being painful and I have assignments piling up. I only have about 6 weeks left of the year, so I'm pretty stoked about that. **

**This is for everyone who has kept me sane this during the hiatus…you know who you are. **

**To **_**Jace Gish: **_**There was a method to my madness about Kate forgetting about the business card. You will find out soon enough. **

**Set a couple days after chapter one.**

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><p><em>Chapter Two<em>

Judging by temperature of the November night, Richard Castle knew it was going to be a cold winter. But there he was, naked as the day he was born; riding through the streets of New York City on the police horse he had just stolen. The cool autumn breeze nipping at his skin, but he couldn't feel it. He felt free; he didn't know if it was the riding or the alcohol coursing through his veins. Rick was in a world of his own until he was yanked from it, tumbling roughly from the saddle into the waiting handcuffs of the NYPD.

"Richard Castle, you are under arrest for theft of police property and indecent exposure. Anything you do or say can be used against you in a court of law. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you." He was read his Miranda Rights before being shoved head first into a waiting police cruiser.

Rick sat in the back of the car with his hands cuffed behind his back and watched as the buildings blurred as they sped past. When they pulled up at the local precinct, the officers thankfully covered his nakedness before escorting him up to be processed. His fingerprints were recorded and his photo taken to be added to the criminal database. Richard Castle, crime novelist, now had a criminal record.

As the officers ushered him down to lock-up, he asked in all seriousness, his care-free attitude of earlier in the day now completely wiped from his personality, "When do I get that phone call?"

The officer laughed at him, "When we get around to you. It's been a busy night."

Rick shook his head, "You don't understand; I have a daughter and she doesn't know where I am."

"Should have thought about that before you went and got yourself arrested." The officer unlocked the cell door and pushed Rick inside. "I'll send someone over to your house to check on her."

"Thanks," Rick slumped down onto the cold metal bench in the cell and put his head in his hands. The officer walked away, leaving Rick to soak up the sounds of a NYPD lock-up on a Friday night.

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><p>"O'Grady, can you and Marshall head over to the address Richard Castle just provide us with and check on his kid?" The two officers in question looked up at the man giving them orders.<p>

"Sure thing, Davis," O'Grady replied as he and his partner headed out of the precinct.

Davis called out after them, "Oh, and boys, call CPS if you have to." The two men nodded and Officer Davis sank into his chair at his desk and sighed. He hated cases where kids were left to fend for themselves when their parents got too drunk to look after them.

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><p>It was about 3a.m when Officers O'Grady and Marshall knocked on the door to Richard Castle's loft. There was no answer and there was no sounds coming from the inside. They knocked again, this time pounding on the door. It was loud enough to wake the dead. After a few minutes they heard quiet shuffling and the door unlocking. It was opened a crack and a little girl's head popped out; her fiery red hair messed from sleep.<p>

O'Grady knelt down to the young girl's level, "Hi, I'm Officer O'Grady, what's yours?"

The girl narrowed her eyes at the two men, wary of the strangers at her front door. "Alexis," she answered.

"It's very nice to meet you, Alexis. Officer Marshall and I were just here to check up on you; to see how you were going," O'Grady explained.

"Why? Why are you here to see me and not my daddy?" Alexis asked them.

"Your dad asked us to come and see you because he got held up a bit tonight. Is there anyone here with you tonight, Alexis?" When the girl shook her head no, O'Grady crooked his head to look at his partner. "Make the call," he told him. Marshall turned on his heel and walked back down the hallway so that Alexis couldn't hear him. O'Grady twisted back to focus on Alexis.

"Where's my daddy?" Alexis asked, the firm resolve she had before slowly dissipating.

O'Grady smiled softly at her, "He's safe; he just got into a little bit of trouble tonight."

"When can I see him? Is he going to come home tomorrow? What sort of trouble? Was it really bad?" Alexis shot off all her questions in quick succession as only a child can, tears welling up in her eyes.

O'Grady placed his hand comfortingly on the girl's arm, "Everything is going to be ok, Alexis. You'll see your dad soon, I promise. "

"Ok." Alexis sniffled and wiped her eyes with her hands before looking up at the officer in front of her, "Can I go back to sleep then?"

Officer O'Grady chuckled, "Sure, Officer Marshall and I will be outside all night, so if you need anything just come and get us, alright?"

Alexis nodded and shut the door, O'Grady was proud to hear the girl locking it as he stood up and waited for Marshall to come back. He didn't have to wait long.

"What did they say?" O'Grady asked.

"CPS said that they're gonna send someone out in the morning," Marshall thought about his response and corrected himself, "later on this morning."

O'Grady nodded, "So looks like we're sitting tight until they get here."

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><p>The two men took shifts and did laps around the floor of the loft until around 9a.m when a woman from the Child Protection Services arrived. She was a heavy-set, middle-aged woman with long greying hair that was tied up in a plaited bun.<p>

"Officers, my name is Margie Smith, what is the situation here?" she asked.

O'Grady filled her in, "Alexis Castle, seven years old. Her father was arrested last night and there was no one looking after her when we came to check up on her."

Margie nodded, "You've been out here since then?"

"Yes, ma'am," Marshall replied, "It wouldn't be right for us to leave her on her own."

"Good." Margie moved in front of the door and knocked loudly on it. A good twenty seconds later she could hear shuffling from the other side and then the unlocking of the door.

Alexis poked her head through the gap she had made, "Hello?"

Kneeling down to Alexis' level, Margie introduced herself, "Hi, Alexis, I'm Margie. Do you mind if I come in and talk to you for a little bit?"

Alexis eyed the woman warily and looked her up and down, before opening the door wider so that the Margie could enter the loft. Alexis moved into the living room and dropped herself onto the corner of the black leather couch; Margie sat down on one of the armchairs opposite the young girl who was busy ridding her eyes of the sleep that was in her eyes.

"How are you, Alexis? Did you have a good sleep?" Margie wanted Alexis to feel comfortable around her.

"I'm fine, thank you," she replied, "I was having a good sleep until the police officers knocked really loudly on the door and woke me up."

Margie smiled, "Yes, I don't think that I would like to be woken up in the middle of the night either." She paused momentarily and pulled a small notebook and pen out of her bag. "Now Alexis, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?" Alexis shook her head. "Ok, good. Now, how old are you?"

"Seven."

"Good. Is it just you and your daddy living here?" Alexis nodded again. "What about your mommy? Where is she?"

Alexis looked down at her hands that were joined in her lap, "Daddy said that Mommy went to heaven and that she couldn't come back."

Margie placed a soft hand on Alexis' leg, "When did this happen, sweetie?"

"Last summer." She paused and looked up at Margie, "I had to wear black to the place where they put a box in the ground. It was really hot and daddy was crying. I didn't like it very much."

"And since that day, how has your dad been feeling?"

Alexis thought for a moment, "Sad. We don't do fun stuff much anymore. And he's stopped writing. Gina and Paula don't like it when he does that."

Margie narrowed her eyes, "Who're Gina and Paula?"

"They work for daddy. I don't know what they do, but I don't think they like me much, especially Paula," she explained the best that a seven year old could.

"Ok. Now, does your dad leave you alone a lot?"

"Sometimes. I hear him leave at nighttime after I go to bed. He thinks I'm asleep, but I'm not," tears started to well in her eyes. "I don't want him to leave like mommy did."

Margie moved and sat next to the small girl and pulled her into her arms, "Oh sweetie, your daddy's going to be fine. He's just really sad at the moment."

"But why can't I make him happy?" she cried.

"I don't know, sweetheart. But, I bet that you make him very happy but sometimes, grown-ups are too hard to understand and they don't understand themselves. Your daddy needs to figure out what makes him so sad so that he can work on getting happy again. Do you understand?"

Alexis wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her nightgown and nodded.

"Now, I'm going to get you to pack a bag of clothes and some of your other things so that you can come with me for a little while, okay?"

"But daddy won't know where I am when he comes home if I go with you."

"How about we go see your dad first so that we can tell him where you'll be? Would that be alright?" Margie asked, feeling for the girl.

"Yes."

"Good, now go get your things and I'll just be out talking to the police officers outside."

Margie watched as Alexis bounded up the stairs of the loft before she headed outside like she had said.

"Officers, is it possible to set up a room so that Alexis can talk to her father before we take her off to a group home?"

"We'd have to talk to our supervisor, but I don't see why there would be any issues," O'Grady replied.

"Good. Thanks. I'd like to talk to him myself, actually."

Marshall gave her a sad smile, "I think we'd all like to talk to him. She's a sweet kid."

"She is. Lost her mother last year, and if her father doesn't clean himself up, she'll lose him as well. Sad really."

Margie and the two officers continued to talk quietly for about five minutes and then Alexis came bursting out the door.

"I'm ready. Can we go see my daddy now?" she asked enthusiastically as she dropped her bag on the floor.

"Sure, sweetie, let's go." Margie ushered Alexis down the hall to the elevator, Marshall laughing quietly as he grabbed the girl's bag and followed them and O'Grady down to the ground floor.

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><p>At the precinct, Richard Castle was transferred from his cell to an interrogation room; no one would answer any of his questions when he asked them and he was getting more and more irate as the time ticked by. There was a stony-faced officer standing at the door of the room and Rick sat in the cold, metal chair with his hands cuffed together in front of him on top of the table.<p>

Rick's possessions were taken away from him when he was processed, so he had no idea how long he had been in the room. He figured it would have been only about fifteen or twenty minutes before a woman walked into the room carrying a notepad and pen. She sat down opposite Rick and folded her hands together in front of her.

"Mr. Castle, my name is Margie Smith and I am from the CPS. I'm here to let you know that we have taken custody of your daughter until the courts see fit to release her back into your custody."

Rick was shocked, "You can't do that! She's my daughter," he blurted out angrily.

"I understand that, Mr. Castle. But, between your recent arrest and your daughter's statement that you have been leaving her alone at night, all that constitutes as neglect, and the CPS frowns heavily upon that," Margie explained to him calmly.

"Will I ever see her again? What do I have to do to keep her with me? I need her." He was pleading; this was breaking point for Richard Castle. He covered his face with his cuffed hands.

"Look at me, Mr. Castle," Margie's voice was stern and Rick lifted his eyes to meet hers. "I am here to help you. You will need to do exactly what the courts tell you to do and no less. You need to clean yourself up, not just for yourself, but for your daughter."

Rick nodded and whimpered, "I'll do anything. I can't lose Alexis. She's all I have."

"Good." Margie stood up from her chair and headed out the door, and as she opened it, a brilliant flash of red dashed past her and straight into the body of Rick.

Rick slid out of his chair and drew his daughter into his arms as best as he could with them handcuffed together. He buried his face into Alexis' hair and hugged her tightly, whispering softly in her ear. "I'm sorry Alexis, I'm so sorry."

"I love you, daddy," she whispered back.

Tears ran down Rick's face, "I love you, too, so very much. I'm going to work so hard to bring you home, okay?" He felt his daughter nod her head. "Margie is going to take good care of you until I can get better."

He pulled away from Alexis, "I love you, Alexis. Don't you ever forget that."

"Love you too, daddy."

Rick looked up and saw Margie standing at the door, waiting for them.

"Alexis, honey, you need to go with Margie now, okay." He caressed her cheek softly before pulling her back to him and kissing her forehead.

Slowly, Alexis pulled away from her father and made her way over to where Margie was and let her guide her out of the room, albeit with slight reluctance. She turned around to look at her father again and gave him a wave goodbye. Rick smiled a small smile and returned the wave. When his daughter was out of sight, he let his emotions take over and he burst into tears where he sat inside the police interrogation room.

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><p><strong>Ok, so there was chapter two. I hope you all liked it. Next chapter will be a flashback to before this chapter about how Rick got to this point. Also in the next chapter, we will see Kate again. <strong>

**Please leave a review if you so feel the need. I love to know what you think. **

**Sam**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I'll explain at the end why it has taken so long for me to write more. I'll let you get on with reading.**

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><p><em>Chapter 3<em>

_I can't blame anyone but me  
><em>_This reckless fool I've come to be  
><em>_My tired excuses just don't fit  
><em>_It don't look good from where I sit  
><em>_I've tried to change without much luck  
><em>_I reached the point where I get stuck_

_**('Open Season of My Heart' – Tim McGraw)**_

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><p>Kate cracked her eyes open slightly, allowing her brain to reorientate itself with the conscious world again. The room was bright; too bright to be her bedroom. She heard a steady beeping sound to her left; she opened her eyes wider and found herself staring into a fluorescent roof light. Turning her head to follow the sound she saw the constant motion of a heart rate monitor. Up and down, up and down, to the beat of her heart. Kate licked her cracked lips and tried to work up some saliva inside her parched mouth. She turned her head to the right and found the call button dangling off the side off the bed. Willing her arm to move, Kate loosely grasped it in her hand and pressed the little red button; she needed answers. She rolled her head back to the centre of the pillow and closed her eyes; the light was giving her a headache and she felt as if she could sleep forever. <em>How did I get here? <em>was the last question that went through her mind before she slipped back into unconsciousness.

The next time Kate opened her eyes, she was unsure as to how long she had been out. The light didn't hurt her eyes as much and she was able to move her head a little better without feeling like her brain was sloshing around inside of her skull. Feeling a slight pressure on her right hand, Kate wiggled her fingers to see if it was just her imagination. When the pressure increased, she turned her head to the side to find a man's hand gripped tightly in hers as he was sleeping with his head next to their joined hands on the bed. Gingerly reaching over with her left hand, careful of the needle in her arm, Kate tapped the mystery man on the head. She had to do it a few times before he started to stir; he was a very deep sleeper, so it definitely wasn't her father by her bedside.

When the man sat up, Kate was met by a familiar set of cobalt blue eyes. She couldn't quite remember where she had seen him before, but she knew she would never forget his eyes. "Hey there, sleepy head," he said, his voice soothing to Kate's ears. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay," Kate replied, her voice cracking from the lack of use and dryness in her throat. "Water?"

"Let me just get a nurse, I'm not sure what you're allowed." The blue-eyed man disentangled their hands and quickly stood and left the room.

Kate's mind was hazy; she didn't remember coming to the hospital, let alone getting sick enough to come in. She hoped the mystery man would be able to fill in some of the blanks. Kate lay staring at the ceiling for a good five minutes before the man came back in the room, a doctor and nurse in tow.

"It's good to see you're finally awake. I'm Doctor Wallace, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Fine." Kate looked between the three people in the room, the nurse pottering around, checking her vitals and giving a cup of ice chips for Kate to suck on. "What happened?"

"From what the paramedics told us when you were brought in, you had collapsed on the street," Doctor Wallace explained before pausing and taking a deep breath. "Now what I'm about to tell you may be a little hard to hear."

Kate closed her eyes momentarily before focusing back on her doctor, barely aware that the mystery man had taken his seat at her side, reclaiming her hand in his. "Just tell me."

"You suffered a miscarriage, which caused you to lose a lot of blood and collapse. On top of that, your blood alcohol level was five times over the limit and your body didn't know how to function."

Kate just stared at the doctor; she didn't know what to say. She was in complete shock; thoughts and questions ran through her mind. _How did she get here? What would her father think? Is this what people meant by rock bottom? _Kate covered her eyes with her free hand as tears started to stream down her face. She was ashamed by her actions and embarrassed that there were witnesses to her humiliating defeat.

She vaguely realised that the doctor was still talking to her. "When you were brought in, you weren't carrying a cell phone or any identification. The paramedics found Mister Castle's number in your pocket and the nurses called him to identify you."

Kate looked to the man beside her and it then hit her; he was the man from the bar. She had totally forgotten about him; obviously he hadn't forgotten about her.

"I wasn't able to tell them much, but I figured it would be nice for you to have someone there for you when you woke up," he told her, his face alone showing the deepest concern she had ever seen in a man's face.

"Thank you," she choked out. Turning to the Doctor Wallace, Kate asked, "How long do I have to be in here?"

"I want to keep you another night for observation, and then you can be discharged in the morning. However, I suggest you get some help to work through this. I can suggest a few groups you can go to, or even some psychologists." He patted her warmly on the shoulder and smiled. "You will get through this."

At that, he left, leaving Kate to get more answers from the man at her side, who was still clutching her hand tightly.

"Hi," she said quietly.

Rick smiled knowingly, "You don't remember me, do you?"

Kate shook her head, "Vaguely. I met you in the bar, but I can't for the life of me remember your name."

"It's Rick. Rick Castle."

Narrowing her eyes and looking at him intently, "You're the writer, aren't you?"

He nodded, "Guilty as charged."

"My mom," the tears started to flow again and Rick squeezed her hand in support, "my mom used to love your books. I never read them, but she used to tell me all about them."

"Used to?"

"Yeah," Kate whispered, "she died a couple years ago… murdered."

"I'm sorry."

"Did they catch who did it?"

Kate shook her head no. "I guess that was the beginning of the end really. My life, spiraling out of control."

"I know the feeling," Rick told her, smiling somberly. He sighed, "My wife recently died and I had this little girl who needed me so much, but I didn't know what to do. I ended up drowning in the bottle, much like you did."

"Are you okay?" her voice sincere, glad to have found a kindred spirit in all the darkness.

"No. And I won't be until I get my daughter back. I need to work on getting better." He paused and looked at Kate directly into her dark green eyes, "When I got that phone call about you, I just knew that you hit the same point I had. That night at the bar, I felt a connection to you that I can't explain. We need to work together and get back into the living world."

Kate reached out and pulled Rick into a tight embrace. "Together," she whispered in his ear.

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><p><em>Two nights after the night in the bar when Rick had met Kate, the gorgeous brunette with the weight of the world on her shoulders, she still hadn't called him. He figured she wasn't interested, but he certainly was. Having tucked Alexis in bed an hour ago, he headed out of his loft in search of the enigma that was Kate.<em>

_Rick's first stop was the bar where they had first met. Sitting at the bar, he ordered a drink; that drink turned into five as he sat for over an hour, hoping she would turn up. When he realised she wouldn't be showing up, Rick headed out, stopping at all the bars along that street. By midnight, he was severely inebriated and disheartened; Kate was nowhere to be found._

_Rick walked dejectedly towards Central Park; his mind was swimming and without noticing he stumbled into the freezing water of one of the fountains. Slowly pulling himself out of the water, Rick started stripping off his clothes; he would be sure to get hypothermia if he kept them on. Soon enough he was completely naked and in need of a way home; he had no money for a cab and it was a long walk back to the loft._

_Rick walked a little way, the ground stinging his feet as he walked. He stopped and decided to put his shoes back on; he could handle the squelching better than the freezing. As he bent to tie his shoes, he spied a horse in the distance and before he could talk himself out of it, he made his way over to it and untied it from the post, careful to avoid the two police officers that were standing nearby. Rick quickly jumped on the back of the horse galloped off. _

_So __there he was, naked as the day he was born; riding through the streets of New York City on the police horse he had just stolen. The cool autumn breeze nipping at his skin, but he couldn't feel it. He felt free; he didn't know if it was the riding or the alcohol coursing through his veins. Rick was in a world of his own until he was yanked from it, tumbling roughly from the saddle into the waiting handcuffs of the NYPD._

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><p><strong>So there you have, at long last, chapter three. This story takes a lot for me to write because it is so emotionally heavy. I started writing it when I wasn't in a good place and it was a way to get out my feelings. At the moment I'm in a better place and it takes a great deal of effort and concentration for me to try and write something like this when I'm not in that headspace.<strong>

**Hopefully you will bear with me as I slowly plug away at this fic. The updates may not happen as often as you may like, but I promise that I will eventually. **

**Thanks for your understanding and I hope you liked this chapter. Next time we will see the build up to Kate's fall and see how Kate and Rick try to fix their lives. **

**Sam**


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